Adding & Subtracting

9-12-06 Adding & Subtracting



I added up all the women I slept with.
Couldn't remember all their last names.
Then in a separate column all the
women & girls I kissed. This latter
column had to remain incomplete.
I have forgotten many of the names
& faces & no doubt several of the
experiences. Why was I performing
this mating ceremony on the white page?
To get my mind clear of the chaos of
the present moment & to find the most
valuable element if possible---the one
thing that remains uneroded by history
& consciousness. Consciousness
itself is a great storm of images.
Provides more confusion than illumination.
It never stops working. Even in sleep
it labors under the darkness. Taking
the measure of all of one's kissing life
& the interpenetration puts something
in place & immediately calls for the light
of comedy. As if all this frivolous
behavior some of it lit up with fires of
amazing desire should add up to something
significant & substantial. At the same time
as if this rehashing of life on the white page
is my sole appointed role in the world:
To put into order the chaos & anomalies
of my romantic experiences & thereby
render integrity symmetry and radiance
to that distinguished thing: 'My Life.'


RLG copyright 2006