The Abstract Bedroom
9-28-06 The Abstract Bedroom
I am the loneliest man in the history of the world. Why is this? Because I slept with the Abstract Woman Silence
and she bound my tongue in concrete so that whenever I encountered the beautiful woman my mouth turned to
marble. The words I would speak to Beauty stayed frozen inside my tongue. And thus day led onto week and
week led to month and month evolved into year and year into decade and I became a monster of silence so that
only the sun welcomed me into its midst and the blue sky alone wooed me. The women turned their eyes toward
me but they never spoke the fatal words I love you. They never invited me over for dinner a movie & sex. They
pretended we were living in an abstract world just as the Abstract Woman had engraved inside my skull. Thus every night I slid inside the covers of my bed alone & beheld the universe in silence & abstraction. And I penetrated the abstract woman before I went to sleep. Every night we performed coitus cogitatis according to the book of abstract revelations. It was all laid out for us. And we followed the guidelines to divine perfection.
In the meantime I gained no new wisdom of the beautiful women. I did not learn if they were real or merely fantastic. Once in a while I reached out to touch a woman on the shoulders or put my hand gently on her head to feel her hair & let my fingers sink down inside the magic to take her Reality Code. But immediately the glass partition would slide down & click into place and my hand would hit the smooth unbreakable glass window
and that would be the end of that. The beautiful woman always smiled at me then & revealed her irresistible lips.
They were kissing lips I always said to myself. And they certainly looked to be so---inviting irresistible lips. But I
had no way of testing their reality.
So I got on the bus and headed back to my digs one more lonely time. And I report this now in a slightly refracted manner suggesting almost a hint of levity. But it was never funny or light. This was always a dark depressing even shocking & traumatic event. The long empty ride on the bus & then the walk home from
the bus stop one more lonely lonely time. A totally solitary isolated individual again bereaved of the arms of love and sensuous beauty. I felt the sting of lovelessness slap me in the face with the horror of recognition one more time that I was alone on the earth & barren of the miracle of female tenderness. And I would feel that coldness crawl through me as I approached my stark rooms unwarmed by Eros to sleep with the whore abstraction one more night. And then wake up in the morning alone in an empty bed forlorn and set to start another doomed day of redundant abstraction on a blank canvas. And there was never one iota of new information to stun me into wakefulness from the quiet nightmare of perfectly preserved regularity.
RLG Copyright 2006
I am the loneliest man in the history of the world. Why is this? Because I slept with the Abstract Woman Silence
and she bound my tongue in concrete so that whenever I encountered the beautiful woman my mouth turned to
marble. The words I would speak to Beauty stayed frozen inside my tongue. And thus day led onto week and
week led to month and month evolved into year and year into decade and I became a monster of silence so that
only the sun welcomed me into its midst and the blue sky alone wooed me. The women turned their eyes toward
me but they never spoke the fatal words I love you. They never invited me over for dinner a movie & sex. They
pretended we were living in an abstract world just as the Abstract Woman had engraved inside my skull. Thus every night I slid inside the covers of my bed alone & beheld the universe in silence & abstraction. And I penetrated the abstract woman before I went to sleep. Every night we performed coitus cogitatis according to the book of abstract revelations. It was all laid out for us. And we followed the guidelines to divine perfection.
In the meantime I gained no new wisdom of the beautiful women. I did not learn if they were real or merely fantastic. Once in a while I reached out to touch a woman on the shoulders or put my hand gently on her head to feel her hair & let my fingers sink down inside the magic to take her Reality Code. But immediately the glass partition would slide down & click into place and my hand would hit the smooth unbreakable glass window
and that would be the end of that. The beautiful woman always smiled at me then & revealed her irresistible lips.
They were kissing lips I always said to myself. And they certainly looked to be so---inviting irresistible lips. But I
had no way of testing their reality.
So I got on the bus and headed back to my digs one more lonely time. And I report this now in a slightly refracted manner suggesting almost a hint of levity. But it was never funny or light. This was always a dark depressing even shocking & traumatic event. The long empty ride on the bus & then the walk home from
the bus stop one more lonely lonely time. A totally solitary isolated individual again bereaved of the arms of love and sensuous beauty. I felt the sting of lovelessness slap me in the face with the horror of recognition one more time that I was alone on the earth & barren of the miracle of female tenderness. And I would feel that coldness crawl through me as I approached my stark rooms unwarmed by Eros to sleep with the whore abstraction one more night. And then wake up in the morning alone in an empty bed forlorn and set to start another doomed day of redundant abstraction on a blank canvas. And there was never one iota of new information to stun me into wakefulness from the quiet nightmare of perfectly preserved regularity.
RLG Copyright 2006
posted by rlg at 9:10 PM
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