8 Parts Of Speech
2-25-06 THE PARTS OF SPEECH
In 6th grade & again in 7th & 8th it was impressed on me there are 8 Parts Of Speech. This was fundamental Gospel of my elementary education. Like the 7 Sacraments of The Roman Catholic Church. By the way, I was brought up Protestant and taught Catholics are Unbelievers because they pray to Mary who was merely mortal & The Virgin Carrier and depositor of the Divine Body of Jesus. She got knocked up by The Holy Ghost according to Calvinist doctrine---amd also of course the dogma of all Orthodox Christianity Protestant & Catholic. Like I say though the 8 parts of SPEECH became Official Doctrine for me somewhere in there. I guess when I became a writer soon after I found out I wouldn't be playing centerfield for the N.Y. Yankees. Sad for baseball fans everywhere. But of course a Blessing to Readers o'er The World. That Bobby Greenfield learned his 8 parts of speech in 6th grade. And really got em jammed down into the cranium in 7th & 8th so there was no chance for escape. O, no. They were locked in there for Life.
Now. Now. Now. We come to TODAY. 25 Feb, 2006. RLG has not pondered the depths of the 8 parts of Speech since 8th grade when they disappeared down into The Great Void. This a.m. at Starbucks however I was visited by the Arch Angel. And She said to me, Greenfield, get up off your ass and look into the Parts of Speech. Are there really 8 and if so what are you going to DO about it? Is the 21st Century ready for YOU, RLG & YOUR version of the 8 (quote-unquote) parts of speech? Hmmmmm. Am I ready? Noun,Pronoun,Adjective. Verb, Adverb. Conjunction, Preposition. Finally, Interjection. So what? Well, Mister Greenfield, why in the hell are there so many novels these days that ignore THE NOUN. Everything is running loose in the world and off its hinges. All kinds of verbs without subjects, adjectives flying like a hurricane of horse shit, and dangling adverbs. Here & there an interjection posted like a WARNING sign. ABANDON HOPE ALL YE THAT ENTER All these cocky writers bragging like hell about Hell & how they got there & liked it & are staying for the duration.
The thing is of course to wear Black. Black is The Uniform. Baudelaire the Parisian wore Black in imitation of his great hero the American Edgar Allan Poe. Let me assure you we don't have any Baudelaire's and nary one Edgar Allan Poe in America today. We do have quite a few wearers of black who would BE The Artist. In fact they have hired publicists to remind us what it is so hard for us to fathom---that THEY are Artists if we would only buy their product. Well, of course, there are people who wear black because they enjoy black & God bless them. That is a different story---one of genuine esthetics.
I want a good story. OK? A good story is full of surprises. Something that really makes me Laugh inside. This very minute I am hunting for one good story. That is why One Woman is so important in my life. One irresistible woman. She takes me away from my eternal solipsism, my Loneliness. Nothing else can do that. No mere book of words referring to other words, for sure. No. I need meat & potatoes & green vegetables: NOUNS & VERBS & a few Necessary modifiers. OK? This is merely a warning for things to come. Remember that saying from George Bernard Shaw from a few days ago: "I am not an Example-----Take me for a Warning!" Well, come on, GBS. Don't put me on. Of course you're an Example. Of Something. Whether any of it is worth a damn is up to The Viewer. The Customer is always right. Even when he or she is a fool. That's what bugged Plato about Democracy. Everything heads for The Lowest Common Denominator. The great Average. Universal Mediocrity. Horrrors! Time to get out of cyberspace. And to the Table for some meat & potatoes & spinach.
A lady recently wrote me a letter pertaining to my first 9 messages here on my BLOG. These are her words: 'Mr. Greenfield, I once knew some of your poems by heart. I wonder if you will ever get back to love & sex & romance & food & desire again as in the good old days.' I stand corrected. Thank you, Wendy!
RLG
In 6th grade & again in 7th & 8th it was impressed on me there are 8 Parts Of Speech. This was fundamental Gospel of my elementary education. Like the 7 Sacraments of The Roman Catholic Church. By the way, I was brought up Protestant and taught Catholics are Unbelievers because they pray to Mary who was merely mortal & The Virgin Carrier and depositor of the Divine Body of Jesus. She got knocked up by The Holy Ghost according to Calvinist doctrine---amd also of course the dogma of all Orthodox Christianity Protestant & Catholic. Like I say though the 8 parts of SPEECH became Official Doctrine for me somewhere in there. I guess when I became a writer soon after I found out I wouldn't be playing centerfield for the N.Y. Yankees. Sad for baseball fans everywhere. But of course a Blessing to Readers o'er The World. That Bobby Greenfield learned his 8 parts of speech in 6th grade. And really got em jammed down into the cranium in 7th & 8th so there was no chance for escape. O, no. They were locked in there for Life.
Now. Now. Now. We come to TODAY. 25 Feb, 2006. RLG has not pondered the depths of the 8 parts of Speech since 8th grade when they disappeared down into The Great Void. This a.m. at Starbucks however I was visited by the Arch Angel. And She said to me, Greenfield, get up off your ass and look into the Parts of Speech. Are there really 8 and if so what are you going to DO about it? Is the 21st Century ready for YOU, RLG & YOUR version of the 8 (quote-unquote) parts of speech? Hmmmmm. Am I ready? Noun,Pronoun,Adjective. Verb, Adverb. Conjunction, Preposition. Finally, Interjection. So what? Well, Mister Greenfield, why in the hell are there so many novels these days that ignore THE NOUN. Everything is running loose in the world and off its hinges. All kinds of verbs without subjects, adjectives flying like a hurricane of horse shit, and dangling adverbs. Here & there an interjection posted like a WARNING sign. ABANDON HOPE ALL YE THAT ENTER All these cocky writers bragging like hell about Hell & how they got there & liked it & are staying for the duration.
The thing is of course to wear Black. Black is The Uniform. Baudelaire the Parisian wore Black in imitation of his great hero the American Edgar Allan Poe. Let me assure you we don't have any Baudelaire's and nary one Edgar Allan Poe in America today. We do have quite a few wearers of black who would BE The Artist. In fact they have hired publicists to remind us what it is so hard for us to fathom---that THEY are Artists if we would only buy their product. Well, of course, there are people who wear black because they enjoy black & God bless them. That is a different story---one of genuine esthetics.
I want a good story. OK? A good story is full of surprises. Something that really makes me Laugh inside. This very minute I am hunting for one good story. That is why One Woman is so important in my life. One irresistible woman. She takes me away from my eternal solipsism, my Loneliness. Nothing else can do that. No mere book of words referring to other words, for sure. No. I need meat & potatoes & green vegetables: NOUNS & VERBS & a few Necessary modifiers. OK? This is merely a warning for things to come. Remember that saying from George Bernard Shaw from a few days ago: "I am not an Example-----Take me for a Warning!" Well, come on, GBS. Don't put me on. Of course you're an Example. Of Something. Whether any of it is worth a damn is up to The Viewer. The Customer is always right. Even when he or she is a fool. That's what bugged Plato about Democracy. Everything heads for The Lowest Common Denominator. The great Average. Universal Mediocrity. Horrrors! Time to get out of cyberspace. And to the Table for some meat & potatoes & spinach.
A lady recently wrote me a letter pertaining to my first 9 messages here on my BLOG. These are her words: 'Mr. Greenfield, I once knew some of your poems by heart. I wonder if you will ever get back to love & sex & romance & food & desire again as in the good old days.' I stand corrected. Thank you, Wendy!
RLG
posted by rlg at 2:32 PM
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