Searching For Sex
6-14-06 Left This Place To Die
I left this place to die. Searching for sex & love in the desert. Lonely rich intelligent women with independence of mind. Women of tenderness & emotional strength. Not ruined by history. Not uninfluenced by it either. Looking for sexual intimacy in the beautiful arid hot desert here in lonely Southern California with its one million beautiful females of all ages and sizes. Truly educated to bone conditions of the twenty first century. And the massive injuries being done to our fellows every moment of each day. It's hard to stay conscious in this festival of lies & pain & sexual intrigue. Everybody looks like they just walked out of the shower but got hit by a misguided missile on the way to the parking lot. How come the parking lots are so full? What's there? What source of fascination? Why is everybody walking in the parking lot and gawking about as if they are seeking something scheduled to appear here & now like The Second Coming? Do you ever get answers to your questions? I don't.
It's hard to crack this case. Because it refuses to identify itself as a riddle. Business as usual say all the commentators. We have a dilemma. There is never any new information. And the newspapers are nothing but endless veils of rumor. It doesn't make any difference which paper. It's all distraction. The bottom line is the weather won't deceive you. Everybody else will. Don't ever trust people for recipes of health. They have ulterior motives. Staying out of the mix. There is no use investigating the why of things. Stick to the physical sciences. Describe only measurable physical quantities. And make no demands on persons. That's Love in the 21st century. Trust yourself. That's all you got going out of the gate. The sun won't let you down. Neither will the nocturnal realm. Day and night are both good solid things you can depend on in a world of unpredictability and ego-motivated behavior. I never go to parties any more. Although I broke the rule this past New Year's & went to two. Food was good & I had a conversation with the party-giver's mother that was fairly interesting. And ate my stomach out from under me at the other one.
I didn't get laid either time. Nor did I note an opportunity for the same. Though there was one lovely woman who walked into the kitchen when I was standing there. She reminded me of Wendy. However, she didn't stick around. Next thing I looked up & she was standing next to some guy who pretended he was her husband in the living room. So I headed for the exit. Thus began the year 2006 in Venice, California where I was staying at the time. There was a football game for the college national championship between USC & Texas on the 4th. I blew the whole deal. I'm usually careful but I let Frank fool me. He offered me a radio to follow the progress of the game which SC shouldve won hands down. But I suppose because I was so lazy SC followed suit and gave Texas the game. That damned radio should have never left the house. Frank has no loyalties such as I do. Then I read a poem with Linda at Spondi's. On Dudley near The Boardwalk in Venice. Half the crowd at the reading had already vamoosed because Linda & I got there late. It didn't matter. They were dead before they got there. Everybody's dead. Their luck is they have no idea of their status. Think they're really fulfilling their destiny with Uncle Sam & God and all that invisible crap. It doesn't make any diffeence. That's what I mean by dead.
I haven't seen Da Vinci Code yet. I am still too blase to walk over to the cinema & watch it alone. I saw this lovely babe standing in front of me at Starbucks this a.m. Perfect size for me. I could lean over and kiss her. My lips almost touched the top of her head. She was having a conversation with a couple who came to talk to her while she was standing in line. Honey face. Saw Erika at Borders yesterday but she is very stuck up lately. Erika Leishman who also is extremely attractive short of stature but for some reason seems to have a hostile attitude toward me. So I ease back on my heels. I'm not eager to invite any woman's hostility---who knows she may not even realize she's sending me negative signals. Not everything is as obvious as it sometimes appears to be. Appearances are deceiving. Truly they are. In any event, this lady this morning was so busy talking with her friends we didn't say anything to eachother. I had my career on my mind. Not sex that's for sure. Too lonely to get anything going with a new woman. So lonely I have no modus operandi. No means of coping with women in the rough. Almost never see one that feels really appropriate. A woman I can be myself with & she can be herself with me. Now that would be something.
RLG Copyright 2006
I left this place to die. Searching for sex & love in the desert. Lonely rich intelligent women with independence of mind. Women of tenderness & emotional strength. Not ruined by history. Not uninfluenced by it either. Looking for sexual intimacy in the beautiful arid hot desert here in lonely Southern California with its one million beautiful females of all ages and sizes. Truly educated to bone conditions of the twenty first century. And the massive injuries being done to our fellows every moment of each day. It's hard to stay conscious in this festival of lies & pain & sexual intrigue. Everybody looks like they just walked out of the shower but got hit by a misguided missile on the way to the parking lot. How come the parking lots are so full? What's there? What source of fascination? Why is everybody walking in the parking lot and gawking about as if they are seeking something scheduled to appear here & now like The Second Coming? Do you ever get answers to your questions? I don't.
It's hard to crack this case. Because it refuses to identify itself as a riddle. Business as usual say all the commentators. We have a dilemma. There is never any new information. And the newspapers are nothing but endless veils of rumor. It doesn't make any difference which paper. It's all distraction. The bottom line is the weather won't deceive you. Everybody else will. Don't ever trust people for recipes of health. They have ulterior motives. Staying out of the mix. There is no use investigating the why of things. Stick to the physical sciences. Describe only measurable physical quantities. And make no demands on persons. That's Love in the 21st century. Trust yourself. That's all you got going out of the gate. The sun won't let you down. Neither will the nocturnal realm. Day and night are both good solid things you can depend on in a world of unpredictability and ego-motivated behavior. I never go to parties any more. Although I broke the rule this past New Year's & went to two. Food was good & I had a conversation with the party-giver's mother that was fairly interesting. And ate my stomach out from under me at the other one.
I didn't get laid either time. Nor did I note an opportunity for the same. Though there was one lovely woman who walked into the kitchen when I was standing there. She reminded me of Wendy. However, she didn't stick around. Next thing I looked up & she was standing next to some guy who pretended he was her husband in the living room. So I headed for the exit. Thus began the year 2006 in Venice, California where I was staying at the time. There was a football game for the college national championship between USC & Texas on the 4th. I blew the whole deal. I'm usually careful but I let Frank fool me. He offered me a radio to follow the progress of the game which SC shouldve won hands down. But I suppose because I was so lazy SC followed suit and gave Texas the game. That damned radio should have never left the house. Frank has no loyalties such as I do. Then I read a poem with Linda at Spondi's. On Dudley near The Boardwalk in Venice. Half the crowd at the reading had already vamoosed because Linda & I got there late. It didn't matter. They were dead before they got there. Everybody's dead. Their luck is they have no idea of their status. Think they're really fulfilling their destiny with Uncle Sam & God and all that invisible crap. It doesn't make any diffeence. That's what I mean by dead.
I haven't seen Da Vinci Code yet. I am still too blase to walk over to the cinema & watch it alone. I saw this lovely babe standing in front of me at Starbucks this a.m. Perfect size for me. I could lean over and kiss her. My lips almost touched the top of her head. She was having a conversation with a couple who came to talk to her while she was standing in line. Honey face. Saw Erika at Borders yesterday but she is very stuck up lately. Erika Leishman who also is extremely attractive short of stature but for some reason seems to have a hostile attitude toward me. So I ease back on my heels. I'm not eager to invite any woman's hostility---who knows she may not even realize she's sending me negative signals. Not everything is as obvious as it sometimes appears to be. Appearances are deceiving. Truly they are. In any event, this lady this morning was so busy talking with her friends we didn't say anything to eachother. I had my career on my mind. Not sex that's for sure. Too lonely to get anything going with a new woman. So lonely I have no modus operandi. No means of coping with women in the rough. Almost never see one that feels really appropriate. A woman I can be myself with & she can be herself with me. Now that would be something.
RLG Copyright 2006
posted by rlg at 3:47 PM
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